I am sick of people saying "the wrong side of thirty." There is nothing wrong ...

Mike Jones, I need to speak with you immediately regarding some very important information in your possession.

"typically fantastic performance from DeMarco Murray"

His 30-second tape job looks strikingly similar to the Bucs' new jersey numbers. Upon review, slightly better.

I feel like playing football in your racist, God-forsaken city is punishment enough, SLPOA

Targeting and roughing the passer, but the Tallahassee police can find no evidence of wrong doing.

Bieber is a bad Canadian joke.

Well, he is bigger than Floyd. Taller by an inch, virtually the same weight, so it ought to be a good match. Do it Biebs. Spar with him. Go ahead. It'll be cool.

I always knew Floyd Mayweather beat women.

"... it's about the journey, not the beer."

Because Keselowski running into him after the race is so much more respectable

No, Derek Jeter winning five Gold Gloves allows me to dismiss MLB as a serious sport.

That was brutal. He should be arrested.

You may be right about that. He's also a professional fighter who is facing charges related to violence. They have a valid arrest warrant because he "overslept." The cops don't know what is going on behind that door - is he armed? Booby-traps? All the dude had to do was open the door and walk out when cop number…

The context you're missing is the entire night he spent running from the cops, the barricade he placed between himself and the officers serving the warrant and about a dozen crazy tweets between then and the moment the armored trucks rolled up. All he had to do was show up to court. Failing that, all he had to do was…

This could all be cleared up with some paperwork that's in his office, so he ... runs from the cops all night and barricades himself in his house instead of surrendering? Okay, I think the "single mother immigrant" might not be the best guess for person who went off their meds here.

On one hand, innocent until proven guilty. On the other hand, show the fuck up for Court you entitled twat, this ain't a game.

This sounds like an extremely volatile and tense situation, but I'm oddly happy that it involves a level-headed guy like Miller, who won't let all this craziness prevent him from plugging his dog's twitter account.

I love stories like the keg at your wedding. That's what having a hometown beer is all about. Good work. I think I somehow missed Lakefront, but I'll look for it next time I'm in town (and I shall return).