Oh, it's you baiting me! It's you telling me to dance! You weren't desperately trying to prove what a big, successful man you are! You don't keep coming back with poor imitations of what I'm saying to you because you aren't reading it! You haven't been checking your Kotaku every day in the hope I've not come back,…

Wow.. you've even bored yourself.

You forgot to respond to everything I just said that called you out as a miserable failure in everything you've tried to say.

But.. what point have you proved? And who have you proved it to? Anyone but yourself? So you just told yourself something you already knew? What a towering achievement that was! Because you certainly failed to impress me at what a man you were (and failed to convince me that you weren't trying to, too! But then…

So as soon as I use the word protest, you use it twice. They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but if you're trying to imitate me you should give being a grown-up man a try. Why not tell me again about how big bad Anita Sarkeesian is ruining your life! Cry about her methods! Pretend she's…

You're going to have to chalk up yet another fail for yourself on your imaginary scoreboard (and if I tell you too, you'll do it). Bleating was the right word, because you really do follow the rest of your frightened little sheep herd:

How many times does it take? You used to be so good at jumping when I told you to. Now all you can do is bleat on again about how Anita Sarkeesian is taking all your toys away from you (and I understand the most basic rule of statistical analysis you've quoted very well, thanks!) when in the meantime, her latest…

No, no, no. That's not going to do it. You tried that one. I said impress me.

Half the time? You either get it or you don't, right?!

Your sarcasm meter not working today?

Ironic, since you made yourself the bitch. Now, try and impress me some more.

Then why was her supposed insecurity about her looks even relevant?

But.. you were trying to prove yourself to me. It wasn't bait, of any kind. And you know it. We both do. Look inside for the part of you that said all that as.. ahem, 'bait'. You can't find it. Go back and read it, and know that it's true! How am I supposed to take you seriously now?

If you were defending someone simply for being attacked online, then there's nothing wrong with your stance.

You haven't tried getting into a deathmatch game then, clearly.

Oh, Japan!

Pro-tip: Don't trust a word that Larry Hyrb says. This man will do anything to sell Xbox Ones - including spinning the truth, selling out, trying to look cool in a furry hat even though he's middle aged or attempting to double up on geek points by staging a lightsabre fight with Francis.

"White knight" is absolutely (misguidedly) used as a pejorative term and if you can't see that you're really not worth bothering engaging with.

Adorable? Is that what you call being embarrassed for realising that you tried so desperately hard to prove what a man you are to me? To someone you don't know on the internet, and who you have to keep coming back to every day? "Women like me! They do!" he cried. And true or not, the fact is you wanted it…

And I absolutely agree with you, but that also doesn't make anything I said untrue either. To call it miserable it harsh. It's impressive for what it is, just not what it aspires to be.