Amar'e Stoudemire poked himself in the eye with a kazoo and is out indefinitely.

I bet some players' wives and girlfriends would appreciate those pink mouthguards.

Oh. You're crying because you're hungry? How about a knuckle sandwich?!

Dude, you're like Superman or some shit. Boulders THREE TIMES YOUR SIZE? Fuck, yeah!

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

I swear if the next story that comes up says Ken Griffey, Jr. was on PEDs I'm quitting sports for good.

Joke's on you, BYU doesn't even know the Hail Mary.

what is that you say?

Even his nose looks funny when it runs.

Update: New suspect in the death of Derek Boogaard

Thanks for the reminder, I forgot that going in to the last election the media had us all terrified that Joe was going to get stomped on by Paul Ryan. It sure didn't turn out that way. I think that was the one debate that no one questioned who was the winner. Biden wiped the floor with Ryan. If anything, pundits were…

This is why Joe Biden is my fantasy internet boyfriend. He gets so much shit for gaffes when 99% of the time, he's the smartest and most compelling guy in the room. Of course he would say this. Of course. I love him so much.

Props to the Bengals; prayers for Leah & the Still family. And a reminder of how barbaric it is that a family in the richest fucking country on the planet could possibly be uninsured when a precious little girl has cancer. USA! USA!

We don't say hurt anybody. We say hail to the redskins, braves on the war path, fight for old DC

This is terrible news to be sure, but in terms of tragic student deaths on the Kent State campus, this doesn't rank in the top four.

This is oozing so much class. So very Missouri to let the white guy take multiple shots until he hits the target dead on.

So I know that the forums here are supposed to be funny, but: fuck this guy.

This is the most Raiders thing ever. Increased police presence at a preseason practice. God dammit Raiders.