And people laughed at me for not dropping him from my fantasy team.

Well now maybe he can move on in peace with his life . . . sentence.

We’ve redacted Eli’s email address but I can reveal that, disappointingly, it’s not nygqb69@aol.com.

Eli’s just upset these messages were intercepted, but really he shouldn’t be surprised.

This is the same shit Peyton did when he tried to sell his worn uniforms.

A hiker ascending a 10,000-footer hauling lasagna with meat sauce wasn’t particularly prepared for every eventuality, you say?

So we embrace advanced metrics like strike zone plots but still can’t get fractional innings right?

Not to be short but there is no such thing as 6.2 or 7.2 innings!

Hrrrmph,
Bob Costas

“...(long suffering) fans in the Bronx...”

I’m sure the Mariners would be willing to give back Jesús Montero for him.

NHL really should have rigged that draft lottery so he wouldn’t be playing in the fucking Syberia of the NHL and people would care alot more.

Not my president’s trophy

I spent my entire weekend calling in rules violations to the LPGA, so it was nice being able to take this game off. Good job refs.

Liberty Bell: “Tell me about it.”

Hello. I am Philip Bump and I write for The Washington Post.

I got dinner with a male man who wasn’t my husband lord master and then got diarrhea on the way home, so yes.

I’d give that assinine outta ten!

There’s a joke here somewhere but it’d probably be very assinine.

“We had fun looking at Jay Cutler’s bare vacation ass yesterday”

“...and he got the watch on.”

Movies have taught me that the cops will make you smoke the whole thing anyway