there’s nothing wrong with expecting an equal division of emotional labor when you’re part of a couple

Americans thieved the Irish word for mother and made it into a racial slur?

I feel for you so much. The exact thing happened to me when I was expecting my baby girl, and I wrecked my brain to find solutions and explanations. It started as soon as I got pregnant and escalated until I had to ask him to move out when I was 8 months along since his behaviour had completly drained me and caused…

YOU need to do WHAT?

Girl - no, no marriage therapists. Get your OWN therapist, sit down with copies of “Why Does He Do That ?” and “Should I Stay or should I Go ?” both by Lundy Bancroft. Read them both, TWICE. Don’t let him see that you are reading them.

My ex-husband totally turned on me when I was pregnant. He was furious that it altered my ability to get things done. He treated me really badly and I never forgave him and when our daughter was 3 I filed for divorce. It’s a major red flag when a man makes a pregnancy into a weakness to exploit. I’m so sorry you are…

Yes. Once. I was off for a year. It saved my sanity.

You’re right. These things do start out as arguments—today, for example, we were both frustrated about money and were at odds about how to fix it, but yes—his tactic of “ending” an argument with an accusation like that is not how adults argue. And I know that if I were to say “Fine, I’ll quit my grad program and end…

The thing is, it doesn’t sound like an argument. An argument is where two parties have a conflict, and one is pushing for resolution, compromise, etc. and the other is pushing back for a different solution. A fair argument is where both parties are equal, there’s no blaming, and both parties work for a solution that…

In Canada, if you are laid off you can collect unemployment insurance. If you quit, or are fired, you cannot.

Sounds like you were polite to a grieving family even though they put you in an awkward situation. 

I had a triple-doozy day on Friday.

130 in New Delhi. It starts to become an unreal level of existence.

There are so many with so many different styles.

Nothing really to add, but I feel like I’m in the same boat. Facebook reminded me that today is the fourth anniversary of defending my dissertation and I still haven’t gotten a permanent academic job. My school hasn’t even coughed up a contract for next academic year yet (even though they’ve already scheduled my fall…

Thanks! And it’s a good question. If they lay me off, I’ll get a nice severance package since I’ve been there 10 years. If I quit, I get nothing. :(

I have just been feeling like garbage. My mental health is not good. I’m bored and lonely. I hate my job. Money is a problem. I feel like I am dealing with all the same problems I’ve been dealing with my whole life. Is it ever going to get better? Feeling pretty hopeless.

I need some honest advice. I started my own business about 16 years ago because I had some really amazing jobs before that and I felt like I could. I put my husband through school to get his master’s while supporting us and two kids. I have always drank more than I should but it became a problem because I was…

I am 15 weeks pregnant and I found out from my first trimester screening that my child has a 1/265 chance of Down Syndrome, which doesn’t sound terrible but is technically a “positive screening.” I have another screening test at 16 weeks, which gives a more definitive percentage, but I am freaking out. I am 30 years…

An ex-boyfriend of mine died unexpectedly. I went to the wake and the funeral. The family asked me to go, so my mom and I went. But then they tried to guilt trip me into sitting with the family. It was strange. I haven’t dated the guy in over 5 years and I’m not his most recent ex-girlfriend. His mom tried to tell me…