That is the largest 5 year old I have ever seen. I have way more questions. 

See, and my first reaction was that it seemed like a scene straight out of Talladega Nights. I think I need a good talking-to.

that is one fourteen ass looking five year old

Well I don’t think that there are a lot of 5-year-olds reading Jezebel. So how about those of us who are get our laughs in where we can? Especially since nothing bad happened and hopefully the large amount of media attention will encourage these parents to make sure their son has learned his lesson.

Why did they make the kid’s face look like a Stargate portal? Is Kurt Russell still in there?

It’s amazing the kid even made it to the onramp with that Etsy craft plate stuck to his face.

Let’s not lose sight of the real victim here: the salesperson at the Lamborghini dealership.

I was scrolling and thought that someone had tied a paper plate to his face. 

I read the entire article thinking that it must explain at some point why there’s a small plate taped over the kid’s face.

Okay I understand that a minors identity needs to be protected, but what the FUCK is that over his face?! What kind of a censor is that? What is that supposed to be, a scribble? a gold coin? some kind of mask? What exactly is happening in this image and why was it done instead of just a blur or black bar or literally…

Extra impressive that he could drive with some sort of horrific face void

“We will show them the same loyalty and love they have shown us,”

Many of us did want Warren as President... and we could still get that.

“I will never lie to you” is always the first lie. Then come the other hallmark of manipulation: gaslighting.

In fact, in response to a reporter asking if McEnany will “pledge never to lie” from the podium...

After a couple of weeks of “someone’s grandparents getting COVID is an acceptable loss so I can see my stock investments rebound and go to a movie theater” sure, let’s have a month to celebrate the people we said we wanted to die.

There is no doubt that McEnany had to blow Trump to get this new gig and yet she hasn’t realized that she has destroyed any benefit her Harvard education granted her. In a few years she will be lucky to be the PR person for a used car company in Tennessee.

What happened to Brett Kavanaugh was a grave miscarriage of justice.  That’s no lie.  Dude should be rotting in a cell right now.

Oh Kaylee, I would be disappointed if you stuck to the truth. That’s not the Trump way. Kleigh, your false eyelashes are on point though. I would be surprised though if the GOP kept on banging the drum about sexual assault, Kavanaugh etc. I mean that’s just begging the media to go ahead and trot out every single one…