Cats will never surprise you by turning out to be assholes because they never try to hide it. Not even as kittens. Their core essence is asshole. It’s like suddenly finding out Andy Dick groped some woman before he vomited on her. The only surprise would be the exact location it happened.

shit mate (matt... whatever)... a simple he fucked up woulda done it

There was like eight people living here in Florida till they got air conditioning.

I’d like the skirt to start at my neck. It would be like a cage. No touching!

Thank you, Mother Pence! I will be sure to be chaperoned appropriately while I watch.

Who has 14 truly close friends?

There have been times when I have told myself that I need better friends, but I had no idea how much better my friends could be.

Good. I find nothing so healing as the company of trees. Been thinking about you all week. Feel everything, within and without. Take care. ❤️

Democrats are calling for the newly-elected Jones to be seated prior to the vote on the tax bill. [The Hill]

Dick Van Dyke’s fake Cockney accent in Mary Poppins was worse. Kevin Costner’s “Robin of Locksley” accent in Robin Hood was ...awful. Painful. Luckily, it entirely went away as the movie went on.

As is often the case, I really don’t have anything productive or informative to say. I just found an all-purpose gif of Symone Sanders from last night that I think many of you women will find very useful in future debates with Deadspin commentators:

How are you going this week, friend?

I think you mean...unpresidented.

I love this more than anything in the world. Giada is clearly calling her some filthy Italian names in her head. Nic is just like “I live in the light and I speak the truth.” Ellen is just along for the ride and l o v i n g it.

It might be “kinda cute” for all of ten seconds, after that, it would get real old, real fast.

In some good news for the planet, France has decided to troll Trump in an epic, and entirely French, manner.

You mean when Newt Gingrich was impeaching Clinton while cheating on his cancer ridden wife?

Still got nothing on the name Full Frontal.

I know I’m only a weird internet stranger, but text ANSWER to 839863 if you would to text someone. Real people answer (if its at 3 am it might take a little while.) Here is a link specifically for men https://1in6.org/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0f_zjs_71wIVj6_sCh1EYwJGEAAYASAAEgIuZvD_BwE and they have a chat option. Take care…

<3 I'm so sorry.