I don’t think this is a peer-reviewed scientific poll.

Why why WHY is Fairy beating Satyr??? Which would you rather be, some fragile tiny woodland creature, or a horny stomparound getting wasted while they shred on the panpipes?

What about dad-anger? Does it offer any relief from dad-anger? Because if I step on one more fucking Lego, I swear to God I’m going to burst into flames.

As someone older than you, I can honestly say, ‘You’re only 40!’ Seriously, this is life telling you that you need a reboot and now is the time! And if the heart attack had ‘done it’s job’ he would have gotten everything, plus life insurance, and he would have gotten to be the poor grieving widower and not the…

Talk about a shit sandwich, sorry that your husband is a cowardly fucker, you on the other had survived a heart attack so fuck him and live! Also live life as a fucking awesome person just to spite that stupid spineless prick! Also sorry you can’t gat totally shitfaced because of your dicky ticker but we will all…

Well, barring the doozies, like cheating, abuse, drug/alcohol problems, I’d say most relationships just kind of crumble over a period of time under the pressure of several little things that don’t get discussed and just add to the pile of resentment. Not talking explicitly about what you expect from each other in all…

well, stop daguerreotyping and start daguerreoposting that pic!

I blame porn. Men watch too much porn where the woman is always surprised and amazed after the dick reveal.

Does anyone else in their 30s get the same sense of superiority that I do from this? When I was flirting with girls I didn’t have a cell phone to send dick pics with, nor have I ever had the desire to now that I have a camera phone. I feel like people who do this are mentally handicapped. It sounds like a horrible…

Goddamnit if your baby comes out at 4 pounds or under you need to take that baby to the hospital you dumb shits

Ivanka Spills the Borscht About “Waiting For” Jared & Shares Her Secret Family Recipe For Toilet Wine!

Dump is, in every way, America’s worst date.

OK, I’m connecting dots now. It’s a bit crazy that immediately after their first meeting, Comey thought “I must write ALL this shit down.” He must have noticed something in the meeting that made him feel like he needed a record of everything that happened.

Meanwhile....

Y’all: covfefe is their safe word. Duh.

Couple’s spray tan.

At first quick glance (pre-coffee) I thought it was Jon Gosselin.

Jesus, he got so drunk he looks like Garfield. That’s not quite Bill the Cat wasted, but it’s up there.

Man, between this and crashing when his wife was chasing him who’d have thought that driving would be the part of his game that left him first.

Everyone will want to adopt this dog once they realize that every time he opens his mouth a Pez candy comes out.