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Maybe tonight's the big reveal that Tessa's actually 24 and married to Jeremy Sisto!

Too bad there is NOTHING scary in the show.

Yeah. He didn't have a problem throwing out the original story there, did he?

Orgasming with Lucas over their dual assembly line scenes in Minority Report and Attack Of The Clones. It was a lover's pact, you seeā€¦

Even the alien shit could've been handled well. Especially if the characters, Indy especially, had been like, "Aliens? You're fucking kidding me, right?"

It doesn't get more adult than ripping a still beating heart out of some dude's chest.

I audibly said, "Aw, fuck."

She's also making fun of the Farmville movie, which was announced, like, 20 years ago.

Guys, check out dude's name. Obviously just a troll. And one that doesn't think Happy Endings is any good. Loooooo-serrrrrrr!

Hollywood will change a woman.

Yeah. It's more adult. If you have dementia or Alzheimer's.

First we fly, yes? Then, we land, no!

Now, let's all go see Tin Tin!

Yeah. What a great friend. "The entire story was George's fault, but I don't want to blame him for it. I mean, it's not like the story was the main reason people didn't like the movie or anything, right? My terrible direction of wooden actors played a part, too, right?

The best part of Indy IV was right before a fucking groundhog appeared on-screen. (Pretty sure that was 5 seconds into the film.) Ah, those were innocent times!

It defines stupid shit, actually. What a fucking dickhead!

AAAANE! You don't have to put on the RED LIGHT!

She's always been my favorite. But she was on it, tonight.

I'm like the opposite of a wannabe Oprah. Or a Mr Mom. (Those are from the 80s, just so you know.)

Dawes?