Broke nose never killed anyone.

Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there buddy! Nobody’s suggesting actual on-field results should matter at all in sports. That would be insane!

If I had to hazard a guess, the bar was loaded/unloaded unevenly and tipped up.

So what? Are you saying we should wait until the Browns actually have a winning season, or at least play a single down that matters following yet another losing season, before anointing them a model franchise? Are you suggesting maybe we should acknowledge that the “Process” they supposedly “brought” to the NFL is…

Alternate Headline: Dumbell wrecks face with dumbell, starts video game company in RI

Many things grate me about The Ringer sometimes, but their insistence that teams smash the TANK button the second they’re not a bonafide title contender is extremely dumb.

Lemme tell ya, this Natan Peterman kid is growing on me.

The clip is only 57 seconds long, but the ball’s recording device recorded 18 hours of static while it was in right field.

This helmet shit got me AB in the 4th round of my most recent fantasy draft, bless him

His name is Whett Thudd. Modern scouts, with their algorithms and advanced metrics, will tell you he’s too small and too slow to make an NFL roster. But what those bean-counters can’t see on their spreadsheets, what old-school football men know in their hearts, is that this former Appalachian State standout linebacker…

Never attribute to kayfabe that which is adequately explained by the mere existence of the Raiders.

No, he’s with the Lions now. https://www.espn.com/nfl/player/_/id/16943/tom-savage

Counterpoint from someone possibly even older than you: Facetime is 👍but y’know, NOT IN A PLACE WHERE NAKED PEOPLE ARE WALKING AROUND.

I never face time/ skype/ whatever the fuck/ ever because I can’t stand the other person’s connection being shitty, my connection being shitty, the other person asking if it’s working, me asking if it’s working, the other person asking me “what?”, and me asking them, “what?” etc. I’m with the thumbs up guy.

Is Jade Idol the name of the pornstar he went on a date with?

Here’s a pro tip for all aspiring GMs out there: Anytime Bill Belichick comes to you with a trade offer, slam down the phone and run screaming the hell away.

They should put in his sister Janeane.

starters don’t play in the fourth week of preseason.

   Somehow, Jimmy Garappolo turned into Nathan Peterman and Nathan Peterman turned into Jimmy Garappolo. It might have to do with that ancient jade idol that Peterman found and showed to Jimmy G.