What, did they run out of reclaimed barn wood?

I’m 100% with you, although can we agree that succulent bouquets are a super pretty alternative? Because they are.

Somewhere in another universe, a goldfish bride is gluing a naked, drowning family of four from Dearborn, Michigan to a tiny, decorative house, finishing up final preparations the night before her wedding.

I am 100% dedicated to getting married in an aquarium. The question is, how to I convince them to let me tie the rings around a penguin’s neck and use him as the ring bearer?

Attractive Centerpiece/Affordable Appetizers

Wait...what is a tetanus bouquet?! Wtf was the theme of this broad’s wedding??

OH MY GOD with the freaking Mason jars!!

I guess that the person who came up with this idea never saw “Piss Christ”. Can you imagine going to a wedding with a centerpiece that evokes _that_?

You can keep aquatic plants and maybe some snails in there, but it’s too small for any common aquarium fish.

I dislike them because the person I know who used one acted like she had discovered fire when she posted 3,468,206,860,624 (approx.) photos of said non-flower bouquet. Get over yourself.

Goldfish tend to jump out of their bowls in the middle of events, as well. Those centerpieces are never really animal safe and the fish try to migrate. Little tiny suicides all over your wedding. Awesome. Go for it.

Ick, burlap is rustic, not vintage! Also, I little jealous of your vintage polka dot wedding, which sounds like it was up my alley - we did a vintagey book theme (with some French touches), and I would have loved to work polka dots in.

The only way I’ve seen it and been amused was to take a picture of an anguished face, then put it in the oil jar, then leave it somewhere, like the back of the closet or under the bathroom sink and wait for people to find it.

This just looks like pee to me. Nothing says forever like jars of urine.

Actually, my brother and his wife actually did have a radioactive Fallout themed wedding reception. This would have been perfect for them, even though it IS creepy.

Shades of Robert Mapplethorpe...

In Canada, we have the Caesar.

(Why can’t anybody just leave PIZZA alone?)

Ok, yeah, but that’s WAY less fun than creating a fun spider face and concocting extremely complex plans to lure men into a trap. It’s not about the man, really. It’s about finding my true spider-dentity.