If Jalopnik doesn’t do an entire article on the post $kaycog just made, I will be very disappointed.

This is to tell you all that I will not be posting “lovely lady” awards any longer.  I’ve been doing it for almost ten years and have decided to hang it up. 

“I have an M5*cough*...fiftyi*cough*

Yeah... I totally believe that mileage...

This may be bigger than we thought. It turns out that there were many early, unsuccessful attempts at this BMW theft scheme worldwide that only succeeded in disabling the turn signals.

“Hey Honey, I bet I can smuggle 200lbs of uncut cocaine into the USA”

You have been banned from /r/Jalopnik

Dodger fans are going to be extra sad when they inevitably collapse in the playoffs again this year.

Front loading washer.

No kidding - they really should strip out Jezebel and The Root out of “you may also like” links at Jalopnik.

The answer is always beige corolla, and 5K will get you in a 2010 model like the one below.

I got that, but the fact that it took at least 4 trips by your description before the seller got the car ready to start, on a 12 year old car which is notoriously fragile and expensive to fix, was a flag so red you could lead a parade in front of the Kremlin with it!

OneNote that I take away from all of this is, the Outlook is not good for Cleveland.

“embarrassing” - the amount of money it takes to keep it running, is my guess.  

I miss having an old shitty car people hate riding in, it’s the best excuse to not waste gas on them and their poor opinions.

I would be fine with a 2ft dominos logo on my roof for a few weeks, shoot a few months would be fine too.

It depends. What if it’s the sidewalk in front of your business? In many places you’re actually required by law to keep it clean.

This is more Snow Crash than anything Gibson wrote. Snow Crash literally starts with a pizza delivery.

... By reducing the amount of money spent preventing and repairing potholes. It’s not that big of a mental leap...