Yep. You beat me by a minute (and also by not being in the greys). I hate that that quote is so relevant that it’s always ready at the tip of our tongues.

Off-topic: Life can be depressing. However, I have discovered that there is a live walrus cam you can watch every day this summer.

I’ve never watched The Hills either.

I'm so confused why Kylie Jenner is tagged. That was my takeaway.

Maybe it marks me for an old cranky woman, but all I could see in that picture was the messy room. Is she banging a 15 year old boy whose mom is on vacation?

My reaction to literally every sentence in this post.

I’m sorry is someone in lingerie in that picture? Because all I see is a messy room. If you were wondering where your clothes are...THEY ARE ALL OVER YOUR BED.

Things I have been caught doing in public:

Maybe Brian Benben was asleep. Maybe Brian Benben is a heavy sleeper. Brian Benben. I love saying that name. Brian Benben.

I’m going on 47 and if I turned up pregnant (let alone with my *4th child) I would hurl myself off the nearest cliff.

I’m old enough to remember when J. Crew was just standard rugby shirts and chinos. Abercrombie and Fitch sold tartans and binoculars and Izod was for dorks. God speed, Lands End.

I have 10 year old LL Bean flannels and rugby shirts that look like I bought them last year. Practically indestructible.

Their return policy is second to none. As long as they don’t mess that up, I’ll still buy their buttondowns.

OKAY SO I texted my mom who is a doctor about this issue.

I used to have a major dependency on prescription pain pills back when I was working in public policy, and I can absolutely attest to the bender theory. Every single time (and there were many attempts) I decided I would quit I would buy a whole bunch of pills going out with a bang. Being an addict sucks, and being…

My husband had his gallbladder out last year, and hasn’t stopped detoxing like mad after his first meal of the day, every day. He eats breakfast and has to haul ass to the bathroom to “detox” a few times immediately.

you can get the same results by having your gallbladder removed, and you don't have to worry about making tea twice a day. can i get some cash if i show off my gallbladder scars on insta? FOLLOW ME

Honestly, if there were a gossip item every time my husband and I had words... well I wouldn’t need to release a visual album is all I’m saying. Couples have spats. The idea that every argument is a divorce in the making is NON. SENSE.

Avatar change?

This is the reason I don’t have a cat. I don’t want my face eaten.