I 100% agree with the essay, also this:

Even when it talks. Especially when it talks.

Oh the irony of reading about internet addiction boot camp online

You like the internet, right? Why not spend your summer in camo, learning to ween yourself from it.

I don't like other people telling me what to do. But if I had to lead, I'd send 3 people forward, and 2 people guard in the back.

Sorry.

Ok. The cut to B&W killed me.

Must be a new fighting style...QWOPoeira

He thought he could fight by QWOP-ing.

I don't know if I'm laughing because of the video itself, or because I'm imagining what this would look like in real life and the potential audience reaction to it...

At this point I'll take anything even vaguely related to Last Guardian or Team Ico.

welp, that looks terrifying.

I'm figuratively eating snickerdoodles right now. They are metaphorically delicious.

I'm literally eating chocolate chip cookies, right now.

Personal answer would be Megaman Legends 3! (they saved bayonetta, they could save ML3)

Afterwards, I'll invite you over to my place, where we can share puns over milk and cookies.