Sharing this amazing tweet from 5 years ago

Someone, somewhere is furiously writing a script for a kid’s heist movie where they have to find the Lost Warehouse filled with 7 Billion tickets.

This is probably just crazy talk, and we probably need more data to figure this out, but it almost seems like cops treat black folks poorly.

Seems as though a match and a burn pit could solve this problem for a lot less than 2 million dollars. Where can I bid for the contract.

Seven billion tickets..... So, anything from the middle shelf.

That’s the scam.  Anything you could afford, you didn’t want.

I have to imagine that the big ticket prizes only every went to people who actually lived near a CEC and went their on like a weekly basis as a sort of tradition. Just save up for weeks rather than in one session.

My heist team is almost assembled for this. Just waiting on the last minute hold up for the job, things went south for him and me on that McDonald’s Monopoly theft, but damn if he’s not best in the business.

7 Billion.  Or enough to trade in for one plastic spider ring, 3 individual pieces of Laffy Taffy, and an Incredible Hulk rub-on tattoo.

I feel as though I never got enough tickets to really get anything remotely good from behind that greasy glass. No amount of perfectly-rolled skeeballs or expertly-whacked moles got me close enough to the promised land. This is spitting in many a face.

Now that store will have to be closed and fumigated and that might affect people that work there. Put these fuckers in jail. That’s right they are endangering people and need to be treated as criminals. My god to think this state could put that fat fucking asshole back in office. Bugs Bunny was right:

They should have been pepper sprayed, and had their fucking asses kicked, and be banned from Target for life.

Best example of Darwinism in action I’ve seen all week. They need to self-select that gene out of the human race.

Absolutely. More town halls with voters asking the actual tough questions, please. Even better if it’s paired with Biden, who can then knock them out of the park.

The fact that undecided voters showed more spine and follow through with president chunky ass last night than any of The White House press corps is a pretty big indictment of their ineffectiveness and over all uselessness. Oh if you are undecided at this point you are making excuses. There has been nothing in this…

I really kinda hope so. Let these fuckers try it.

He’s using the kindergarten method of bait and switch:
“Put your hand in the bag, it’s a surprise!”
“Is it going to hurt me?”
“I promise IT won’t!”