What are they doing around Wrigley? It was already a nightmare of shitheads and douche bars around there 15 years ago.

Welcome to the life of an NBA player while Vlade Divac’s an active GM.

I want a fucking parade for this guy.

Great. Now I get to see Northside dudebros wearing racist t-shirts they bought just outside the stadium again...

He’s biracial and from California. But who cares about facts amirite?

This is our (literally!) daily reminder that WEEI is scum.

Here’s a joke! White guys from New England are smart and funny.

I am currently unsigned by any MLB team, may I attend?

Thank Christ I don’t have to manage him, but I met him and saw him interact with fans and teammates over several hours at Klayton Kershaw’s ping pong charity event last year. He could not have been more fun and friendly. I accept immature and entitled, but certainly not an asshole.  

That would be a perfectly acceptable statement if the system wasn’t set up so young productive players also do not get paid. The “what can you do for me now” attitude should apply both ways.

You know the cheapskate billionaire owners aren’t gonna pass the savings down to the fans, right? Do you watch baseball games to see owners make money or do you watch to see players compete?

Yeah! Fuck ‘em. Our sainted billionaires NEED to protect themselves from those dangerous players!

He wouldn’t stop using the office computers for his eBay shopping, EVEN AFTER THE MEMO!

Assistant: Yeah, coach, he’s going to New York to join those two towers they’ve got.

Word on the street is that the Miami Marlins have offered the Yankees JT Realmuto and the naming rights to their stadium in return for Wilson.

I’d rather lose a friend than get bedbugs. Easy call.

Oh are there a lot of cities that put up a monument to a boxer who doesn’t even exist?

Ha. Philly is a shithole akin to a slightly less racist Boston filled with battery throwing mongoloids.

Spot on. This sums up everyone who says “SNL hasn’t been funny in years.” They’ve just forgotten how to laugh (and probably love).

So edgy! Take so hot!