Carey is gorgeous and good actress. 

My eyes cannot roll any harder at the suggestion that she is anything but a fucking goddess. I want to be first in line should she ever decide she’s into older women. 

First off: yeah fuck these hedge fund bastids. If they’re getting screwed at their own game for once, boo-hoo for them. Free market, right, muthafuckers?

There is no way they could have gotten out en masse without sending it all tumbling down anyway. This stock was always going to tumble down the way it rose. It rose fast and made millionaires, it will go down fast and lose people their homes.

The newly minted millionaires will not destroy the hedge funds, the hedge funds already got bailed out. They will make money off suckers who used their savings/income to buy the overinflated stock at 500 USD hoping to join the ride. But the ride is at its end. Those who bought the stock at 10 already made their…

The thing about RobinHood is that they are able to offer “no fee” trades because they sell user data to the big hedge funds and let them get their HFT in before placing the orders. So if you and a bunch of other people want to buy XYZ stock at $20, you’ll end up getting it at $21-$22 because the hedge funds will get…

Only psychopaths put apple in tuna salad.

There is no one to root for here. The only thing that is clear after trying to understand this mess is that shorting should be illegal. Hedge funds borrow stock from the stock market (e.g. your shitty retirement fund or another billionaire fund) when it’s at 100 dollars and sell it at that price. They bet that the…

When a child has toxic parents, the emotional and other abuse seems “normal”, because it is, in fact, the child’s normal. And in your mind you deny how bad it is, despite how bad it is, because they're "family" and purportedly love you, even though their words and actions are hateful. Denial leads to distortion, and…

I think this is what you meant (just a screenshot, I too don’t know how to computer).  Perfect.

I am so here for this! Onion is far too strong a flavor to pair with any fish; it just takes over the whole ensemble.

Basically a bunch of “regular” people cost a hedge fund 2 billion dollars and now the hedge funds want to make sure that never happens again. 

If I understand this correctly: basically, Reddit figured out how to manipulate stocks in the same (legal) ways hedge funds do, but the apps people use to make those trades are essentially owned by the hedge funds. To stop the hedge funds hemmhoraging money, they’re forcing the apps to stop allowing (not rich) people…

And then this

No.

In Claudia’s defense, she has been completely reliant on her parents for her whole life. Risking that means leaving the only home she has ever known for God knows what.

But the child porn kind of blows that out of the water. Nobody’s going to do that just to grab a viral moment.

Yeah... I wouldn’t really bet on that just quite yet. The reddit story is fun, but I’d wager the only thing that can really do this kind of damage to a billion dollar hedge fund is another billion dollar hedge fund. Some trading data to suggest someone else is letting the robin hood story run wild while other vultures…

Not gonna lie, I only clicked on this article to find out what “stonks” is!