@Analrapist, @klemmer35: Man, you guys are downers.

@Lady Andrea: You're true to the cause. Much respect. Also, seething hate. (Not personal, just for everything you stand for.)

@Lady Andrea: Ah, it was a "kick you while you're down" comment, not a "come on, it's not that bad; I empathize because my team sucks too" comment. Noted.

@Lady Andrea: You have to understand, we're accustomed to the smallest of moral victories. The weak division and the quality of the Brewers confuse us.

@Yostal: You could have done:

@Yostal: The right answer is State, because Go Big Ten and all that.

@Yostal: Well, it's in ranked order there. Although I never watched Big Love, so I'm not sure if bigamy's OK if you have a favorite.

@Lady Andrea, @klemmer35: Oh, if we're going outside MLB, then it's Salukis/Cubs/ChiSox/Bulls/Illini.

@Texas Gal: I suppose, but I couldn't help it. It's like "Your retarted Joe" (sic) on Sundays.

I am so not happy right now.

I swear that a tipsy Sutcliffe reminds me of a drunk Caray. The same pauses between words and out-of-nowhere belly laughs.

@metschick: Tires my ass. You know you just can't stand to watch Marquis' pretty, pretty swing.

This comment thread is 404% funnier with the Linkification Firefox extension.

@Signal to Noise: Yeah, but they're gonna be pretty cuts. Besides, it's all about the long ball.

@metschick: I predict that Marquis will hit a HR off of Glavine.

@Tuffy: I believe Youppi would beg to disagree.

@Keith Talent, @Tuffy: We're so totally going to have to top that at Toyota Park this season. WWPWD?

@BigTDog: Yeah, but you didn't know you needed a body spray until they told you that you did.

@Signal to Noise: We know why they do it. It's because ESPN isn't for sports fans. It's for the advertisers going after the coveted 18-49 male demo. (Sorry, Ladies.) They'll do anything and everything they can do to try to keep you watching shows on the "family of networks".

@Signal to Noise: Well, there's a reason why every sport has their own network. ESPN is for "sports" fans, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. At least each of the other networks is for a remotely knowledgable fan of that sport.