The difference is we're not the owners of a pretentious French bakery in New York and can't market our food as a culinary masterpiece for the aspirational set

I swear to you, just make croissant dough in the shape of a donut, let it proof overnight, part-bake it, then flash fry it to finish and BINGO, cronut.

Ok, a lot of these "designer waters", like Evian, Bedoit, Perrier, etc. are absolutely awful. They have too much sulfur and salt and fish pee in them. Volvic, however (not on this place's snooty menus) is quite nice though as far as designer water goes. I preferred it to London tap water any day. (London tap water…

Too much money for a box of pearls and candy. They had me with the idea but lost me with their price ($18 a month, when I can get a box of tampax + candy that I can pick out myself for $10 ?)

Sandcastle in Pittsburgh. I was 16. I go on the tallest fastest slide there, and get out of the wade pool. As I'm walking to the next ride I hear laughter behind me. I reach around to scratch my back and realise my (full cut one piece) swimsuit had wedged itself so far up my ass that I didn't even notice it, and…