You can even set Color Filter as the Accessibility Shortcut in iOS (at the bottom of Accessibility settings) so you just have to triple-click the Home button to activate.

Aahh, but one is a sexual organ, the other has only been sexualized. But I digress.

I do like your story, very much. I do not have a pee story to top it, but one time when I was a kid, I was dreaming that I was peeing, but in reality, I was actually peeing the bed. My brain just wove it into the narrative of my dream.

…

It was too risky. The straight path to the locker room cuts directly through a day care.

people have forgotten that this motherfucker beats small children. Fuck him. I hope his career is over.

Condescending response: bored now. If you’ll never buy the products on principle you’re on the wrong article, and the wrong vertical entirely. Please let us retreat to semantics so we can carry on this thread which was pointless to begin with. It’s sold out (or not available yet) through regular channels on Amazon,…

Condescending response: bored now. If you’ll never buy the products on principle you’re on the wrong article, and…

Those are all on Joe’s playlist, which you can easily hear blasting from the bitchin’ system in his Trans Am due to his liberal use of the t-top in summer.

Nice one. Perhaps we need a “How to Give Into Serious Munchies Without Killing Fitness Progress” next.

Romaniello maintains that it’s not the alcohol itself per se that tends to make people gain weight. It’s the food choices that people make, while inebriated, that has the bigger influence

While you’re the one who gets to decide what is for you to cry over and what is not, if something made you cry in the first place, then it’s something to cry over. That doesn’t mean you can’t find your way back to not crying and then decide it was silly, but everyone is definitely entitled to those emotions as they’re…

You have to admit it would be pretty awesome if they changed their mascot to be an actual Indian guy. Like, just pick an average dude from Mumbai and make him the mascot.

“pot” soup...

Two option: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.

So I can, and let me repeat that, so I can keep track of the visions in my dreams.

Always wear sunglasses at night.

I warn you, there’s a 50% chance I’ll think I can dance (I CAN’T) and a 100% chance I’m going to hug you.

Very true—all this talk about standing while working totally forgets that plenty of people spend their work days standing, and it ain't by choice

Try being an usher at a movie theatre, ripping tickets at the podium from 2 til 10.30 and talk to me about back pain.