And if that fails try seducing the jury.

Musical taste is very subjective.

Yeah I don't get it either. It's like writing a scathing review of vanilla ice cream.

I don't understand how she can be affiliated with a party that wants to pass laws that would make it illegal for her to use a public woman's bathroom.

You could say that about every state in the Union.

A lot of people in the Midwest hate the Clintons so much that they would vote for Trump, even the same people that voted for Obama.

Pen pineapple apple pen

Yeah, I don't think teaching 5th graders how to free-base cocaine makes a lot of sense if you're trying to prevent drug use.

In order to put America First we needed to solicit some help from our friends the Russians.

I've watched these movies with my kids, I think they're charming, they do cartoon violence extremely well.

You forgot to say "nothing burger". Proper boot-lickers will always mention the nothing burger.

That was a real hobo stew of a movie. I liked the Vegan Police though.

Everyone badmouths Hawkeye until they need a bunch of arrows shot at something.

I love Walker's instagram. Just regular pictures for regular Americans who love cold beer, ham sandwiches, and missionary sex with their neighbor's wife.

Welcome to College Football Saturday

Yeah but, he didn't win

Haha, what kind of moron would watch that?

Correct, if you don't chill the glass you might as well be drinking hard apple cider you fermented in an old dehumidifier tank.

Another way to do it is to just pour a few drops of absinthe in the glass to coat the inside. That way you don't have to throw any way.

"Well boys, looks like we're all going to Ireland for some reason"