China: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched the security rules when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” - but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never trust the…

Gym membership? More like germ membership

I have never attended and I never will.

Can we end gender reveal parties? Please?

“california has implemented the 1619 project into the public schools. soon you wont recognize america”

Smug bitchiness, huh?

I see a lot of commenters complaining about the tone of some articles, and the general habits of the Jez staff etc, and a lot of it is really valid. The site isn't what it used to be, but these people are just butthurt for the sake of being butthurt.

Yeahhhh I think it has more to do with the fact that she’s so teensy and that pool is so enormous. And that she is a national treasure and honestly? I need a wholesome story like this. Please just let me have one nice thing without trying to twist it into “how will the short little black lady swim”—the fact that you…

Pretty sure this article is in the same vein as the RBG articles, and not meant to be taken seriously at all, and has nothing to do with Biles being black, more to do with her being an irreplaceable national treasure that must be protected at all costs. 

Several years ago, someone my late husband grew up with saw Satan in the pastry fridge at Fortunato Brothers on Manhattan Avenue in Williamsburg.

Well and the fact that there is an absence of coherent leadership around how to handle the crisis. Nothing makes the troops depressed like a general who is playing on the floor with his dinosaurs and making pew-pew noises the night before a battle.

Fall is, without hyperbole, my favorite thing about life on earth. My image of a perfect day involves fog and chill and pumpkins and piles of yellow leaves on the ground. It involves snuggling up with blankets and coffee and bundling up in wooly sweaters and thick socks and listening to crows cawing from the branches…

Nope. She’ll stick around until he croaks, and then she and Trump’s kids will get into a huge tiff about who owns what and who should get whatever else. 

What you really meant to say was...

They ran out of time because B&W deliberately ran out of time. HBO famously wanted to go another season (or more), but those two chucklefucks were ooooover it and had honestly been kinda phoning it in for a while, and they wanted to waltz off to a big Star Wars [ha ha ha haaaa] or Lord of the Rings [ha ha fucking HA]…

There are not enough ways in the universe to tell you how wrong you are, and even there were, you wouldn’t listen anyway.

You’d be wrong.

The show was pretty good until they ran out of book and none of the top notch actors could save the show. 

Viel glück! Wannabe wrenchers like me thrive on living vicariously through your insanity. Just tone it back a little bit, or remember why you’re doing it in the first place... who am I kidding, I’m no psychologist. Regardless, you should definitely consider getting that bad boy shipped home when you’re done with your…

Uh... Lobbying, idle threats, campaign contributions, etc.