I don’t doubt the NBA would love their pets in OKC to win big to justify their role in stealing the team away from their original city.

I would never call a team that employs Prince Fielder “gutless.”

Charge your phone.

To be fair, your overly sensitive (is there any other kind?) feminism makes you attractive to 0% of men and 100% of cis Jezebel readers.

It would be a tapestry of umbilical contortions to lose Emmitt.

Man, on the heels of B.o.B.’s bullshit earlier this week, it’s like everybody has to disagree with Newton.

1. The Shoe

ESPN, the World Wide Leader in DERP.

I-35 and research blvd, ebony.

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.

Have we heard from Magary? Is he alive? That was a brutal loss even for a non-Vikings fan to watch.

I like this guy.

You’re 3 stars.

Look at the good he did for The Game Of Basketball. Before Kobe, Basketball was boring and useless. I remember watching games as a kid and crying from boredom. The players would just walk on the court and shake hands for 48 minutes while the coaches deflated as many basketballs as they could with crude knives. Unreal.…

Westbrook, because I have a death wish.

When they are getting carried off on that little stretcher, if he feels well enough, the player should sit up and pretend he is paddling a canoe. It would cheer up the whole stadium.

Ohhhh, you’re an attorney, that explains a lot.

Never retire the Emmitt Smith bit. In fact, if you end up on your arse out of work, I’ll donate $2 a month to you to write me a Emmitt Smith bit every week.

My pick would’ve been Ronin. Still holds up as a classic car-action flick.

It's like Hunter couldn't believe both of his i's.