Eh, it’s not like either one of them is ever going to play pro ball or anything

I knew “The Rocketeer” would be next. After that, it’s gonna be harder to guess until like 1998.

+1...wait...+5, no +10. +30. Now it’s +325!

The movie ends with a tease for the Pottsylvania cinematic universe.

This is a bad take

Bucks Big Baller Bucks Big Baller Brand on Big Boy

That scene is the best cold open I’ve ever seen.

Make Your Own Kind Of Music remains burned in my skull.

USA: We’re going to make the NIT of Soccer!

If you look at that 2013 Celts/Nets trade in a dark bathroom while looking in a mirror Danny Ainge appears and marries your mom.

When I used to play Mario Kart and I was way behind, I’d just turn around and start doing the track backwards to mess with the other players.

Because I’m a dick. Welcome to Deadspin for the first time.

Despite the claims of his attire, he really doesn’t seem to be in the mood to take BS.

THERE ARE FOUR UNCANNY VALLEYS!

#TeamDiagonal

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

THE STATE OF THE ART (for clarification)

Triggered much?

The “to-do list” cracks me up. Not even the content, just the idea that this goose sat down and penned out how it’s going to fuck up this gardener’s day.

And Futurama reference, so, three things.