She didn't want to take everyone back to the minivan to do the diaper change. Miranda said her next decision was a last resort.

And get your shit together. Remember how most places didn't have changing tables in bathrooms until extremely recently? Somehow we survived.

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FUCKING DIAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT.

I never signed a pledge stating I would never criticize a woman.

Well, that's one way to declare yourself "Discussion Winner." Well played, I guess.

So, should we simply shake out heads sadly and cross the street any time she issues a statement?

Patton Oswalt is another great one.

Steve-O compared the fan's actions to "walking into a museum and walking out with art".

At least he didn't set her tits on fire. Baby steps, people.

Because getting old is scary in an industry that values youth, probably.

We've played right into her self-absorbed hands goddamit.

Yeah I think that's part of the problem. He lets out steam on the net because he can't release IRL. I don't care what people say, but couples who don't fight are suspicious as hell.

In our 9-year relationship, we've fought three times total.

Neat, but it's been done better:

'Rhyming' a word with itself in another line is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Djimon Hounsou, anyone??

Big Black Guys? Hell yeah. That would make me drool too.

Lets just be honest here- there IS no better defense than "a big black guy did it." Nothing gets cops drooling quite like that phrase.