I do love how, over the course of a few thousand miles, what started as an austere and fundamentally monastic psychological discipline turned into "This is the magic Buddha of Kindness, whose image will protect you from illness. I'd suggest buying two."

Not counting the classic full-career schismatics, my choice has always been Benedict IX. His father bought him the Papacy, he got bored with it and sold it, and then took it back by force of arms: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/…

The Old covenant, the New covenant, the Mormon covenant*, and now the HOA covenants (with riders and deed restrictions.)

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a Republican Speaker to enter the kingdom of Heaven, John."

He's a Jesuit, not a Franciscan, but given his personal qualities it's no stretch to imagine him as one! His choice of papal name made a statement that a majority of the faithful were ready, and needed, to hear. "Francis, Francis, go and repair My house which, as you can see, is falling into ruins."

Guilty Catholic upvote, which I confess may sound redundant

I never thought I'd bump into some sort of sedeprivationist on the AV Club! Begone, foul one, to the Crisis magazine comments section I abjure thee.

Bonus points for digging up your deceased enemy's remains to condemn them "in person."

Pope St. John XIII is probably my favorite Pope in history. Not just for Pacem in terris and the Second Vatican Council, but also for his wit and humility. He seems to have been ever-conscious of the absurdly vital, and vitally absurd, nature of his office in the Church.

Inserts boilerplate treatise on distinctions between 'adoration,' 'veneration,' and 'worship'

I literally pray that Trump will meet the Pope in private, and then emerge before the assembled press and announce, "I see it all so clearly now. My entire life of boundless greed, cruelty, and grasping venality has been one long blasphemy in the service of the Evil One. I cannot even begin to apologize to my…

I always knew there was something vaguely Coptic about you!

And we have to pay him for the privilege!

You have a desk? Luxury! I have to go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month…

…Are we not doing "phrasing" anymore?

"And by the way, which one's Pink?"

Well, alright. Do you l know where I can find him, and do you have any Crisco?

Huh, I've only ever heard "Wuthering Heights" and some live recordings.

It makes us think the store will knock us unconscious in a prizefight?

We can learn a lot of interesting things from the Jinese! For instance, did you know they're not the same as the Kurreens?