Not to mention, "Well, I have dozen of assistants. I have four assistants[…]You're a prick!"

…very small rocks?

Chrysler didn't have it together either. I had a Dodge Daytona with a lovely sunburn: Red paint, covered with fogged white clearcoat that peeled off at the slightest touch.

"And on that farm he had some sheep?" I can't believe we teach this song to children!

Did he cook an erne in an olla?

In a weird bit of synchronicity, I had "Epitaph" going through my head earlier this week and was driving myself nuts trying to remember the title, album, or artist.

…who later apologizes for any inconvenience his wounds might have caused Cheney.

Which reminds me of a hilarious Dick Cheney anecdote…

"We'll build a country based on the idea of saying one thing, and doing another!" is the most concise summary of our foreign and domestic politics I can imagine.

I'll have to add him to my Short Ballplayer Hall of Fame.

Thanks for the read! Can't believe I'd never heard of him.

It does if you've ever seen a rapidly-congealing breakfast burrito make a public apology, though.

It still drives me absolutely nuts that I can't ID the player in your profile pic.

MMMM! So delicious, full of crunchy green peaness!

I don't know. He plays third base.

Look, AV Club, it's really great that we've gotten together to support Kesha with our comments in her time of legal tribulation.

I just want to take the Internet to a farm upstate where it can run around!

Get In My Van, Internet!

Yeah, like I want to see your Facebook feed while I'm getting drunk and jacking off.

I only learned piano as a child, and for the longest time assumed that every musician could read music, because how else could one play?