Welcome to being a woman, where your every sexual move (or non-move) is scrutinized to the nth degree.

THATS NOT WHAT PORN SAYS

Guys, I’m like, so broken up that I won’t be able to marry an angry misogynist.

As a dude, this whole double standard is puzzling as hell.

“I’ll need the lightest bike made and an XXL jersey.”

This guy is the grandest of all the Grand Pricks.

Edited for accuracy.

Guys, the big news is this:

Pfft. Needs more Super Pursuit Mode.

Audi called...they want their A7 back.

Its name stands for Lexus Fucking Awesome.

Are you so dead-set on disliking the 991 engine update that you’re going to try and argue that the F-Type sounds broken?

Look, if you want to have a handlebar mustache, that’s cool, but don’t try to talk to me about serious stuff like you DON’T have a handlebar mustache. You better talk about kazoos and ride a unicycle, you circus looking motherfucker.

Critical Massholes.

BUT THAT WILL INFRINGE ON MY FREEDOMS AS AN AMERICAN WHAT ARE YOU SOME COMMUNIST FASCIST SOCIALIST MUSLIM OBAMA LOVER YOURE GONNA TAKE MY GUNS AND MY MUSTANG OVER MY DEAD BODY

15 thousand miles?! Slow down, you’re using up all the fancy too fast.