Remember the old days when you had to spend the night in a physical line in front of the local record store that served as your area Ticketmaster outlet to get tickets for a concert?

I’m disappointed in the Jalopnik commentariat. This is the most correct answer:

I think I’d go with GoldHammer but then again, I’m no marketing genius—just a simple man with a talent for naming dildos.

I’m gonna buy this jag so I can pick up some cougars!

Cash only?!? Can you say “you are bout to get robbed!”

Sorry, for that kind of money I am not buying some ‘roided out SUV that Guy Fieri probably already owns in yellow.

Dunno, if I had this car I’d plan on taking the Merritt Parkway sometime when it wasn’t horribly crowded. Then the only thing I’d have to worry about would be a speeding ticket.

A front loaded NFL contract that they had no intention of honoring? They must have thought the NIH was a player.

*receives pink slips*

“NFL disbursed $7.8 billion in national revenue—a 9.6 percent increase from the previous year.”

Tiger Woods, Florida Man.

The Yankees Are Struggling To Put Butts In Seats

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

I used to work for Penn State, and this is not OK, not OK at all, the University needs to just leave this family in the past and I’m tired of seeing this guy pop up.

Hey...the Falcons had a pretty good 1st half too!!

I’m going to live forever.

Buick. They even have commercials on how people can’t find the new buick’s because they can’t believe they’re buick’s so get one that’s a couple years old.

Aussie born and bred.

Briles is unemployed, but “From the Free Computers at the Public Library” doesn’t convey the same gravitas.

You can’t just build trebuchets and put a citizen on all the land tiles!!