Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

I used to work for Penn State, and this is not OK, not OK at all, the University needs to just leave this family in the past and I’m tired of seeing this guy pop up.

Hey...the Falcons had a pretty good 1st half too!!

I’m going to live forever.

Buick. They even have commercials on how people can’t find the new buick’s because they can’t believe they’re buick’s so get one that’s a couple years old.

Aussie born and bred.

Briles is unemployed, but “From the Free Computers at the Public Library” doesn’t convey the same gravitas.

You can’t just build trebuchets and put a citizen on all the land tiles!!

First man that grabs my pussy will hAve to seek medical attention in order to retrieve his balls from his throat, which is where their final resting place will be from me kicking them so hard.

“If I had the ability to do so, I’d give this upstanding young man a chance to be a college football coach again.”

thanks for nothing, heterosexuals.  

Committing long term to a Cousin sounds more West Virginia and less D.C.

I want to tell her to calm down but then I think about the seething existential rage I experience at people that walk three wide in hallways and amble, or left lane hogs, or people that take too long to use the sugar/cream station at Starbucks, or people that forgot the form at the Post Office, or try and get on the…

He should retire once he hits 69 TDs. Go out on top, or bottom depending on his preference.

Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I was misled by Patrick’s paraphrasing: “He added that the league never submitted a formal public records request clearly from the NFL,” which is not a distinction the law recognizes.

Talk about burying the lede:

Dan Shaughnessy, is that you?