She sounds like a phone robot, you know, like the one that reads out the godawful turn-by-turn driving directions. Also“All 90's” lol and it’s only a few things!  Where oh where did the 90's go???

welcome to Onion

I feel like this girl could actively save the entire planet from impending doom and Jez staff would still be mad at her for being t-swift.

Yes! Thank you for reminding me of vocal fry. That and I’m trying not to judge her excitement to harshly, because I would also be pretty psyched if someone cleaned and organized my closet too. There is something odd about her permanent childlike youth, but I’m happy she seems to be in a good place.

“...a ride share partnership, where formally [FORMERLY?] incarcerated people will be gifted gift cards...”

Yeah the vocal fry is less and less cute as she gets older, although at this point I don’t think she can help it. But I am in LURVE with her closet (and her amazing housekeepers who reorganized it).

Wow, wow, wow, what a dirt bag. I don’t even know where to start.

The idea of a pro-Trump Canadian is just baffling. Do they not see how things are going down here? I don’t know how you could want that for your own country, which seems to have a good thing going.

My brother and about half of my extended family are Trumpers. There are a few at my job too, though mercifully, nobody talks politics at work. 

My extended family in California are almost exclusively married to first and second generation Mexicans. Not only do my aunts/uncles/cousins support Trump, but their spouses *and* their spouses’ extended families also support him.

Did voting for Trump make his gay go away?

There will be women, it will just be all white women.

I’ve met a Trump supporter who was gay, but like, angry-redneck-denial-beats-up-gay-people-gay. I think the idea was that if the administration made being gay illegal, he wouldn’t think about beautiful giant throbbing cocks anymore, because he’s not some kind of criminal.

Interests:

Underestimate the number of women whose racism trumps their feminism at your own peril. There are . . . many.

That dude in the header image has definitely gotten into multiple fights at slow-pitch softball tournaments.

So there will be 98% men and 2% men pretending to be women signed up to this thing, right?

Let me rephrase: I’ve never encountered a Trump supporter in my daily life. Many of my extended family are, but the last time I saw them was for a wedding over a year ago, in a place several hours away from where I actually live. I showed up with my mixed-race boyfriend, and proceeded to mean-mug any and all attempts…

You lucky, lucky bastard. I have family that are Trump supporters. To be fair, I don’t know how many of them are smart and organized enough to have ever voted, but they unequivocally love the guy.

I’ve still never met a gay Trump supporter. Honestly, I’ve never met a Trump supporter in-person. Only one person has even revealed themselves as a Trump supporter afterwards on social media, like a Trojan Horse full of literal horseshit.