And the people dying in the simile’s hospice are responsible for those outstanding parking tickets, and should, in theory, be held responsible for not yet paying them. But theory and reality don’t always line up, and sometimes unpaid parking tickets get de-prioritized in the face of stuff like impending death.

I get that the Raiders are idiot clownfucks trying to run with their shoes tied together, but I don’t get the point of this vast apologia on Brown’s behalf from someone who knows literally none of the people involved but thinks it sounds kinda similar to this one thing he saw at band football camp twenty years ago.

Yeah I don’t know what part of the article Kelsey was reading there. Slapping Title IX violations on Inglewood seems like trying to go into a hospice center to collect on the patients’ outstanding parking tickets.

A girl who sees—for example—that her softball field is never mowed and the dirt is full of rocks while the boys baseball field is kept in immaculate condition is seeing a lack of compliance with Title IX

High Schools need to do what colleges have been doing for over 25 years. Start eliminating boys sports (like wrestling, men’s swimming, etc). Because the only way to make sure my daughter is being treated fairly is to take away opportunities for my son.

Well, I think everyone (that isn’t an inbred Yinzer) gave AB the benefit of the doubt when he was on the Steelers because Tomlin is a feckless chud and Ben is a fucking rapist idiot given carte blanche to do as he pleases by the GM publicly. Sanders, Bryant, Bell, Blount and Brown all fucking hated him and said so.…

+1 Alderaan being blown up by the Death Star

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

Yes.  For the contract to be valid, the player has to report to work.  Events unfolded fast, and I guess Antonio’s representatives didn’t get a chance to intervene effectively on this, but when he requested a release and it was granted by the Raiders, that’s pretty above-board and hard to characterize as unfair.

No Brown is the incredibly hot, twisted girlfriend. 

Yeah, I doubt there is any contract you can sign in any business where you get $30M guaranteed and then immediately jet off to live in the Mediterranean and never be seen again, while the other side just shrugs their shoulders and says “Oh, well. I guess we have to keep paying him.” I would bet that the “guarantee”…

Yeah this is the take I’m gravitating towards too. I try to be pro-player as much as possible too. I accept that nearly any infraction could contractually be considered “conduct detrimental to the team” and teams void guarantees for ticky-tack infractions at their own risk, but AB really pushed the bounds on this one.

Are you saying 99.9% of people on planet Earth would be fired for frequently deciding to not go to work, posting a recorded phone call with your boss on social media, posting a confidential email from your boss’s boss on social media, and also getting in a screaming match with your boss’s boss?

But NFL and Raiders bad!

It’s a two way street. Guaranteed money is guaranteed to the extent that you don’t try to fight the GM in front of your teammates and actually show up to work. If you fail to uphold those hilariously low standards then there are clauses in your contract that allow the team to not uphold their end.

I’m extremely confused by all of this. He tried to fight his boss and has on multiple occasions refused to show up to work, and Deadspin’s biggest bone of contention seems to be that the Raiders are being unfair by not guaranteeing his salary.

Why does the fact they can void his contract for all this shit “sounds like bullshit.” This isn’t one incident, it’s been a series of incidents over the last few month. Doesn’t show for any offseason workouts? Fine. Sits out for a hilarious injury? OK. Won’t play without his preferred helmet? We get your point, but…

I am an attorney. A bad one, but that is besides the point. I believe there a clause that any guarantees can be voided for “conduct detrimental to the team.” I would say committing a potential felony against the head coach and calling the GM “cracker” in front of the team meets that standard. But what do I know. 

It really seems like NFL contract shouldn’t be able to do this.

I know it’s hip and cool and edgy to blame the Raiders for this, but I fail to see how they’re in the wrong. This ALL is 100% in Antonio Clown’s hands. 

Seriously; they related over food they missed, and she “knew then that it wasn’t going to last”? I’m guessing he probably said “Yeah, I agree” when she pulled the “It’s not you, it’s me” line.