There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

I’m thankful for this.

Pretty sure you can already tell a 4chan user by their scent, onion-assisted or no

Donald Trump has achieved the impossible, which is making me sympathetic to LaVar Ball’s bullshit.

Dipshit father of dipshit kids burns dipshit leader of dipshit country

He’s still out going door to door collecting $1.05 from every American, because freedom isn’t free.

I took it as more of a reference to Jennifer’s economic anxiety.

Toby Keith’s gonna be pissed when he realizes he didn’t think of this idea

I was pretty on the fence about Jerry Jones being a lecherous, repulsive piece of old dogshit, but this put me right over the edge.

Yes, inserting a cigar into consenting woman’s vagina is much, much better than grabbing a non-consenting woman’s crotch. So much so that I wonder why you would even compare the two unless you yourself are some kind of lurking sexual predator.

This the best thing ever written about anything.

Counter-proposal: Keep all golf courses active but also populate them with wolves.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this was America!!!”

Well, ok, but if I get rid of my single serve coffee machine I’m going to need to find another physical manifestation for my crippling loneliness.

Again?

ok, so are you gonna smash your keurig or not

Trump is a sack of shit. People who voted for Trump are moronic sacks of shit.

Huh, who knew that Sepp Blatter cared about anything other than money?

Although to be fair, he might have thought that was where she kept her wallet.

BUY HIM OUT, BOYS