A few things:

Would Wells Fargo be responsible for a meth lab explosion from a house they provided a mortgage on?

Aunt Becky: “I just wanted so badly what was best for my child. I guess I took it too far.”

Audience: Awwwwwwww..... *sappy music begins playing*

Danny Tanner: Aw, Beck... It’s not about the name on the college diploma. It’s about knowing, wherever they go, your kid did the best they could.

Aunt Becky: “Thanks, Danny...…

Half a million to get her daughters into USC! I mean, I went there, and it’s a nice thing to have on your resume if you work in California, but it’s not exactly Harvard.

I don’t feel bad for the kids at all. They had every possible advantage in life (including parents who were filling to commit crimes on their behalf) and they still couldn’t get accepted to decent colleges? Cry me a river.

She’s going from Full House to The Big House!

The Hallmark movie about this scandal starring Lori Loughlin is gonna slap, though.

I usually don’t like to pass judgment on 19-year-olds, but holy hell is Olivia Jade tempting me. I didn’t know that she existed half an hour ago, and now she’s skyrocketed up to Martin Shkreli-levels of insufferability.

I spend my Saturday afternoons volunteering at Upward Bound at Pace University, an extracurricular program that provides college prep and counseling for low-income, first-generation, college-bound high school students.

So, since Lori Loughlin is involved, is it fair to say that this scandal is everywhere you look?

This is the nouveau riche version of notorious “legacy admissions” that the dimwitted offspring of wealthy families have depended upon forever (see Bush, George W., Trump, Allof’em, and Kushner, Jared). Spoiled brats and the parents who spoil them. I never want to hear another word about Affirmative Action for…

They would’ve gotten away with it, if only they went for that True Coat!

One would assume this conversation would occur after years of insisting that “honesty is the best policy.” 

Witnesses described the man as “funny lookin.”

Ban college athletics.

Holy shit, how do you sell “we need to have a photoshoot where you pretend to play soccer so you can get into college” to your kids? I’d kill to be part of that conversation.

Authorities just released a photo of the two guys William H. Macy met with to start this process:

Also:

Interesting to note (for me, anyway) that despite their leather-clad image, Judas Priest had also been putting out a more poppy, radio-friendly brand of hard rock/metal dating back to the late ‘70s, dropping covers of Joan Baez, Spooky Tooth, and Fleetwood Mac songs starting with 1977's Sin After Sin, while 1980's Brit…