Kobe used to have clout on that team, but now he’s washed up, and his contract is seen as an albatross — the reason the Lakers can’t attract a second star to the team. He’ll be a Laker for life, but especially after he fucked up the Lamarcus Aldridge hunt by telling him “I want you to be my new Pau Gasol” he’s…

Yowza that’s a hot take.

I’m seeing that you’re a moron — is that what you’re referring to?

No, you fucking turnip. All sports have “unwritten rules.” The only difference, which isn’t significant in any way, is that baseball players at least are honest enough to talk about it.

Come on, be smarter than this. The “unwritten rules” of baseball are no different than the unwritten rules of any major team sport. In football, basketball or hockey, teams tend to retaliate in some way when a player gloats too much. Hard hits result in harder hits. Fights break out. The fact that baseball players…

It truly is a garbage sport. I’ve tried watching football, and there seems to be penalties on at least one-third of the plays in the game. If the rules of your sport are so arcane that they can’t be played by its best practitioners without constant need for arbitration of rules violations, your sport is broken.

So let’s get this straight. Trump pranks Rubio, then his campaign leaks the details of the prank, then media right and left write fawning, uncritical writeups of the prank that allow Trump to look like a fun, entertaining guy and remind everyone that Rubio is a chump.

Here we get at the heart of your issue. You presume that bus drivers are dumb, that driving a bus isn’t a perfectly valid and noble line of work that requires special licensing and extraordinary driving skill and demands fair compensation. You presume that what they do requires less skill than what you do, because…

“Here, take some money and put together a web series that associates our brand with high-end craftsmen throughout America. Then come over here and make an episode about how fucking rad we are.”

Just making sure you’re aware you’re running “cool” advertorial content bought and paid for by Balvenie.

Hey leelze,

Nope.

Interview prep

Have you ever said “esports” at a party and then the person you’re talking to suddenly sees a friend across the room?

I cannot imagine anything stupider in the world than paying nerds millions of dollars to win at Mario Kong (or whatever the fuck this dumb game is).

If a five foot tall Bolivian immigrant in a Cookie Monster costume can scream at you enough to get you to give him three dollars, that money wasn’t really yours to begin with.

Everybody has ideas about what they don’t want Times Square to be, but no one has good ideas about what they want it to be.

The shell game would be great. I also miss the guys who try to sell tourists copies of Metro and AM New York.

Desnuda-and-Hello-Kitty infested Times Square is awful, but mostly because Times Square itself is awful. At least it once again has character based around the ingenuity and entrepreneurial hustle of lower-class New Yorkers trying to get naive tourists to fork over cash. I’m not crazy nostalgic for the Times Square of…