Open your eyes before its too late, Matthews, Gawker, LLC is trying to get you killed, or at least slightly beaten.

You've got to be really, really super cool to bank at God's Bank of America.

Last night's real winner, inescapable karma:

Anyone who's seen Poltergeist II knows why they call the C-5 Galaxy the "Craig T. Nelson."

This is crazy. Two boxing highlights in one SportsCenter? Without photos? The future's gonna be so great . . . oh.

John Demjanjuk just became a Cavaliers fan.

@UweBollocks: +1

Maybe he just thought that was where the man kept his laptops.

I guess what I'm really saying is, I hope no one pays $50 mil for the right to negotiate with Yu Darvish.

@DirkToberFest: I'll even things out with vote for Cincinatti because their airport is actually in Kentucky. Horseshit.

@Armen Tamzarian: You watch Days at the gym? I wish I had your sugar momma.

@DirkToberFest: I don't have complete stats for that game, but maybe someone there lived in Cleveland and happened to be in Cincinatti and decided to take in a game. If so, I'd say "wrong."

I'm gonna direct you to this passage from Leitch's book, which is very good and you should buy it and you should read it except for this passage . . .

@214w: This thread was moved to #espn.com.

@Armen Tamzarian: No less believable than Marlena's possession.

Lithuanians Clearly Don't Remember The Last Time A "Blondes Only" Society Was Pursued

Dave plagiarised his letter from Cormac McCarthy's first draft of Blood Meridian.

@MattinglysSideburns: You might draw First Blood, but Brett will get the last laugh.

Now I know how it must have felt to ask Ronald Reagan what he had for breakfast.

Do you think there's a role that race plays in this.