"All Mattress King Mattresses Now 100% Hepatitis Free!"

"You know what's right with the NFL? Willis McGahee and Travis Henry, that's what."

@ClintonPortishead: They're also at an indeterminate stage of a twelve-step program due to their previous agreement about heroin.

@StanGable: +1. Very nicely done.

According to the court papers, police were looking for a "silver/chrome-colored semiautomatic handgun with a black handle or similar/like artifact."

You see it in the behavior of federal investigators who wipe their feet on the Fourth Amendment and launch an invasive and plainly illegal raid of a drug-testing facility . . .

"Yes, assembled media, these little girls acting like dogs have more money in their trust funds than you will ever make in your entire lives. Combined."

The only question now is… after 14 years of not eating red meat, what would be the first thing you ate to break the streak? I'm torn between steak and bacon.

How will Chief Justice Roberts decide the case without his Bible?

He untucked his shirt and started taking off his tie, saying, 'Where are you? Let's go. You think you can talk to me like that in front of my kids?'

Baptiste had to be restrained from throttling his starting guard.

. . .after millions of dollars and half a decade of their lives wasted . . .

Blake Griffin's "Clipper Luck" Continues

@sir_pantsalot: Myers' wife, Kim, attended the news conference, but did not speak to the media.

How about you get to raid the fridge . . .

I got . . . a lot of less-than-friendly e-mails that used the phrase "proud Alabaman."

"They said it happened on the 10th floor and I'm the only one staying on the 10th floor," Curry said. "That's why I spent most of my time in (Nate Robinson's) room.

@crazyjoedavola: Does that answer your question, Bob?

@Weed Against Speed: Cemetery Gates?

Kill the Birds