As the only living human to remember watching Vegas, I can attest that he was…also on that show.

We'll have to settle for Zarrko, The Tomorrow Man.

YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, STOLTZ!

This week, We Hate Movies gives a dirty look to The Substitute 2: School's Out! We learn that adults should not own yo-yos, most teachers are ex-mercenaries, and BD Wong is surprisingly jacked.

The joke'll be on her when she has to star in Congo 2.

The Birth of Sandman scene is my go-to "beautiful scene in a bad movie".

"Aw jeez, P.G., you picked the wrong Marvel franchise!"

This week, We Hate Movies returns a week early with the un-amazing Amazing Spider-Man 2! As a Spider-Man aficionado, I spent most of the episode yelling at them like that dude who wrote them that angry Parademon letter. I do wholeheartedly agree with them about this overstuffed web-ball of a movie, full of cinematic…

Clearly the breakout star of the Transformers: The Movie soundtrack.

BIG SHINY TUNES

Ugh. Those mid-June school days when you're pressing your sweaty face against your desk because at least it's a cool surface, and then the maid from Clue tells you to get out before the school blows up.

It might also make it more clear that Michael Douglas' character is a dangerous maniac instead of a guy who "tells it like it is", as some people seem to think,

Falling Down. Perfect for those summer days in the city when the concrete is baking, you inhale hot exhaust fumes with every breath, and everyone seems like they're a minute away from pulling a gun on a Whammyburger cashier.

They had to fire Sean Bean. This isn't a movie where people get horribly murdered, but SOMETHING bad has to happen to Sean Bean. It's Movie Law.

Fractured ass!

The Flop House - Oogieloves: nothing calms me down like the Original Peaches' descent into gibbering madness.

I've just discovered MDWAP, just in time for them to begin the second volume…and just in time for it to become INCREDIBLY GROSS.

This week, We Hate Movies breaches the Great Barrier to reach Star Trek V: The Final Frontier! Kirk is wearing dad jeans, Spock's brother is fresh from dinner theatre, and Bones did it all for the nookie. Also: rocket boots!

This week, We Hate Movies skims the pool and dredges up Lady in the Water! Who wants a pool in cold-ass Philadelphia? Why is M. Night Shyamalan in so much of this movie? Is this movie best experienced…on DEE-VEE-DEE?

We Hate Movies is well-into their Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza. The last couple weeks brought us fine episodes on Another 48 Hrs. and Wild Wild West, plus a mailbag featuring a literally gut-busting Long John Silver's anecdote.