Malcolm McDowell.

Wait, seriously, Michael Caine?  Worse than The Swarm?  Worse than The Hand?  I gotta see this.

Man, they missed a golden opportunity to have Black Lantern Hex leaking sawdust everywhere.

Man, they missed a golden opportunity to have Black Lantern Hex leaking sawdust everywhere.

Unfortunately, the (wholly justified) editing out of a key bit of the rundown of The Rapture on this week's We Hate Movies, and the note about it that preceded the show, reminded me of recent events and kind of put me in the wrong mood for goofing on a Mimi Rogers movie.  But it eventually managed to brighten things…

Unfortunately, the (wholly justified) editing out of a key bit of the rundown of The Rapture on this week's We Hate Movies, and the note about it that preceded the show, reminded me of recent events and kind of put me in the wrong mood for goofing on a Mimi Rogers movie.  But it eventually managed to brighten things…

Mitt Romney roots for Norman Osborn.

Mitt Romney roots for Norman Osborn.

I kinda liked Polic's Dr. Smith vibe, but Combs is much spookier.

I kinda liked Polic's Dr. Smith vibe, but Combs is much spookier.

Or, to put it in Flop House terms, they need a Leonardo.  I like June and all, but she isn't it.

Or, to put it in Flop House terms, they need a Leonardo.  I like June and all, but she isn't it.

I think the episode was almost as long as the movie.  Good gravy, it sounded atrocious - just every unholy urge of Sandler id made real on celluloid.

I think the episode was almost as long as the movie.  Good gravy, it sounded atrocious - just every unholy urge of Sandler id made real on celluloid.

We Hate Movies is my #1.  I find the focus on older, obscurer bad movies puts it ahead of The Flop House, and the extra length allows it to go into more depth than How Did This Get Made.  Not that I don't like the latter two, but they can't make me hurt myself laughing the way WHM does.

We Hate Movies is my #1.  I find the focus on older, obscurer bad movies puts it ahead of The Flop House, and the extra length allows it to go into more depth than How Did This Get Made.  Not that I don't like the latter two, but they can't make me hurt myself laughing the way WHM does.

Or the Flaming Carrot.

Or the Flaming Carrot.

I will not hear a word against the Death-Throws.

I will not hear a word against the Death-Throws.