and Janet.

taking zero ownership in the Janet Jackson Super Bowl nipple?

Except for the part where he, you know, publicly threw Janet Jackson under the bus to save his own career.

People payed that much to be there and they still don’t want to sit by him

I am fine with my coffee.

Yes! But, basically, we need conservative voters to stop thinking that way. Me, I’ll not vote GOP ever ever ever ever ever until they get out of my damn uterus and stop raping the environment, and that has nothing to do with “teams.”

Cool it.

I’m so glad we won our independence from you guys. Beans for breakfast... *sigh*

It’s amazing how much you’re able to read that I didn’t actually write. Calm down, Nancy.

You mad bro?

No. No it is not.

Sounds like you’ve never had any friends.

Your misogyny is showing, darlin’.

Hookers and blackjack make everything better.

I almost starved to death at a Lutheran family’s house once.

I sit where my mama tells me and I don’t tell her who’s welcome at her house.

Swear to God, I used to have a Canadian girlfriend.

I never carry less than $1,000 in cash. You never know when opportunity will present itself.

The vast majority of cops, ex and otherwise, are idiots.

All joking aside, I can’t imagine even the best threesome of all time being anywhere near worth the ass-ache of trying to talk my wife into it.