You’re free to fuck off over to Gizmodo or wherever men feel comfortable.

With thanks to Samantha Bee for the image!

Don Jr pictured using finger quotes around the spoken words “write a book.”

How distressing. I had been—quite genuinely—looking forward to seeing Don Jr.’s incredibly rudimentary thought structure translated for the page.

He should have came up with a better name for it. You know, something that would really sell.

Don Jr. is consistently more smug and stupid than his father, which is a pretty amazing feat all things considered. Reading his book would be like punching yourself repeatedly in the head until you pass out.

I can’t wait for Chuck’s upcoming novel, Pounded in the Butt by a Fictional Dinosaur Scientist Who Was Played by My Good Friend Jeff Goldblum, But Who For Legal Reasons I Must Point Out is Not the Actual Jeff Goldblum, But Merely the Character Who He Played: Just to be Clear, This is the Fictional Dinosaur Scientist,…

There’s A Bitcoin In My Butt And He Is Handsome is good, but I really do think Tingle peaked with his metametatextual masterpiece Pounded in the Butt By My Book “Pounded in the Butt By My Own Butt”.

This guy is an actual, literal bag of moldy dicks.

Can we get some sort of running tally on every corrupt act this asshole commits? He’s gotta be in the triple digits by now.

The Travolta Saturday Night Fever character was created by the NSA in the 60s for propaganda purposes. Later in the 70sthe movie, and the entire genre of disco music, was designed to control the minds of impressionable young teens. I mean, you didn’t think disco was real, did you?

I AM HERE FOR THIS!!!!

What do the many posters promoting Christianity have to do with basic security?

But according to new reports, the meeting did not go well, it wasn’t great, and Trump understood nothing.

“And the winner of Miss NSA 2018 is REDACTED!”

The God-heavy ones are the creepiest. Talk about perfectly summing up our panic about the Godless Commies; it really is a damn wonder we didn’t nuke ourselves back to the Stone Age by the 60s.