Between his diet, lack of exercise and doctors of dubious reputation, I think that’s the best we can hope for at this point.

JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY

Pop a fucking vein already, you worthless buttplug.

yoooo i have also fantasized about cowgirl rihanna in a desperado video.

it seems like this was shot at least a couple months ago? she’s showing so much now, you would have been able to see it.

Wakanda has phones??????

I thought they were a simple and backwards agrarian country. Did I miss something?

Julianne, you might enjoy this - Star Wars with Cardi B. sounds. The tongue pop/explosion in particular gives me all the life.

But, like, props for showing (gasp) cellulite on some thighs!

Definitely adding this to the Urschella playlist. Thanks! Also - I’m very open to song suggestions that I may have missed, or just forgotten about - so lay it on me. Please.

Coming to ABC this fall, Boseanne!

Bt doesn’t everyone who speaks in public develop a specific artificial “voice” for maximum impact?

Somebody get the Coen brothers on the line and get them writing Goodman a part. He can bring Laurie Metcalf along with him.

The horrifying triumphant rise of Roseanne followed by the almost immediate fall was so brief that it was comical.

Thought that said Desperado and do you know what I’m still upset about 3 years on? That we didn’t get a Desperado music vid from Rihanna. Would have loved like, desert Rihanna in assless chaps and a cowboy hat riding a bull and being apathetic and kickass. In my dreams....

UPDATE: it’s not Fenty Beauty, it’s MY QUEEN PAT MCGRATH

I need that red dress STAT

this is so much fun, it managed to delight me on an exhausted post-holiday Tuesday when nothing else possibly could.

Looooooove this. It was pretty much exactly what I imagined it would look like (well, Miami/Puerto Rico/island vibes at any rate) and it will slot nicely into the “we need reggaeton” Despacito-shaped holes in our hearts.

carrying a cardboard cutout of Becca’s ex Arie