... this breaks my heart a little. Mom, you tried...
rslwn
rslwn
CherLoaf.
pssssst: does your partner have a family name he likes for the baby’s first name that you don’t hate? If so, maybe give baby your last name and his family first name?
Lol I had skimmed over the part about her hair, good god
Right? Like, I don’t need to read fiction to have overly self-involved characters describe themselves at length, that’s what dating websites are for.
“UGH I HATE MY WEIRD VIOLET EYES AND FLAME-COLORED HAIR, WHY COULDN’T I JUST BE NORMAL HOT” - every Mary Sue ever
wow this is... not good...
Excuse me, the whole point of me roasting a chicken is that I get to monopolize the giblets, what is this “sharing” garbage
Only five wives, the man’s practically a monk!
Man don’t try me, you know how many times I’ve seen Aliens? Vasquez and Newt are not “leads” in any sense of the word. Get the fuck out of here.
but he’s spent a lot of time thinking about the fuckability of blue people!
“No, MY thin white cis braless character was the more feminist depiction!”
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with The Internet, where we sometimes answer rhetorical questions sincerely with animated gifs because Millennials Are Destroying Discourse or something.
lewwwwwwwll
motorcycles aren’t cool and neither are you
okay but the question was whether I wanted to hear his hot take and I did not sooooo