Better headline:

Pat McCaw is the name of a cartoon bird sheriff, right?

Could be first batsmen to be out bbw. Belly before wicket.

Lawrence thinks you missed an opportunity

Classy ladies do not have buttholes? Then where do they .....

And some day civilization will make it to Australia.

C’mon, it’s 2017. Aren’t we beyond obsessing over Piazza’s possible love of cured meats?

GM,

This is overblown. He’s got a lot to learn but he’ll have AIDS.

The photograph isn’t China. It’s Delhi.

Hey, remember when this guy won league MVP because everyone was salty about The Decision?

Some high schoolers threw a big party down the street from my house. Someone parked their ~77 Camaro across my driveway where I couldn’t leave for work (third shift delight!) so I walked down to the house and started asking about the car. Got some rude comments and no useful info. I smashed the drivers window out with…

Славься, страна! Мы гордимся тобой!

I’d put two little flags on the fenders, have my son drive me around while I sat in the back and tell everyone that I was the leader of a fictional country.

If Jezebel gets a hold of this article, the days of your grandfather just may come back to life.

You heard it from Lewis. He wasn’t hurt, he just had to take a shit. I hear that excuse from my four year old nephew all the time, that’s not unusual.

Great move. Southerners love Cousins!

+10 for the creativity. -5 for the off-screen footage!

Received full and unfettered access to the Houston Texans sidelines, post-game conference, and locker room as The Paper Texan looking to recreate the magic of George Plimpton’s The Paper Lion: reporting on the amazing physical and athletic prowess of professional athletes compared to the rest of us weekend warriors…