Paying someone else to change the oil and service my car.

Not too soon, just not funny.

You want beautiful? I'll give you beautiful.

The mighty Mackinac Bridge, natch. It's almost cheating because Michigan is so beautiful up there.

Golden Gate, of course.

It's bewildering to think that an actual conversation was had in which all of this was set up, and everyone involved was somehow convinced that the final product was a cool thing that needed to be posted on Instagram. Just, like, negative levels of self-awareness going on here.

His jean shorts say "yeah, I probably neglect my child" while his Florida residency says "yeah, I probably neglect my child."

I'm just going to post this periodically for people who hate the new format as much as I do, sorry if you've already seen it. Last time, but I figure Drew's posts get a lot of hits.

I'm confused it says your comment has one comment or at least a 1 and a talking bubble graphic, but when I click it, it just brings me to an interface to make a comment. I'm confused what's going on here.

What he suffered was nothing compared to this new Kinja

The Kobe answer is spot on. After watching Lebron's 61 last night, I went on youtube to watch a couple of Kobe's big games. There was a game in 06 or 07 where he put up 65ish points on the Blazers. The Laker bench never reacted to ANY OF IT. It was really bizarre to see a dude sitting on 60 points and his bench not…

what a terrible answer

This is my favorite comment of, like, all time.

I hate that you have feelings

Why do you think Kerry Rhodes wasn't given an opportunity with the Eagles? I'm not asking you to bash your teammates, but he is better than anyone who started at the safety position (and the numbers support this). Would you have found him to be a distraction?

*LIST ONLY VALID IF YOU EAT CEREAL FOR INCONTINENCE

TIM MARCHMAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE DEADSPIN STAFF.

What kind of casual cooks bacon in the oven?

I guess this case