I wish I had that ability, because my usual safety go-to (pepper spray) is banned where I live now.

Once again, the nice guy gets the health scare, while Fat Satan continues to live a life that is just ripe for a heart attack, yet will likely never have one.

I’m 36 and frequently read “subpoena” as “sub po eh na” in my head.

Last summer I religiously entered lottery ticket draws for the showing of Hamilton in my city. Every time, I’d get the same, “Sorry, you didn’t win, try next week!” email in my inbox. Then, finally one day this magical email arrives in my inbox at 10 AM or so: “You just won $10 Hamilton tickets! Please click this link…

I know it’s past Saturday night, but reading this and all the other posts made my heart break apart just a little. I miss my mom, I’m 7700 miles away from her right now and all I want to do is hug her.

I love these standing up for yourself ones. At summer camp when J was 13, all the girls in my cabin went to the same school except me. (Also didn’t help that they were from a rival school district.) They bullied and tortured me mercilessly, all of them, and I wrote my parents every day begging them to take me home.…

Lakesha Brown.... wayto be subtle about picking which spokesperson to use for this, American.

Don’t worry, half the girls I’ve met today in their 20s either rely on pulling out or Plan B as their primary form of birth control. Millennials are really stupid sometimes... which is ironic considering these are the last people on earth who should be procreating right now.

This makes me feel better about fantasizing about boning the 6'3" guy sitting in front of me at my housemates’ dinner last week. His hands were rough and MASSIVE. Sadly he’s married and probably 6 years younger than me, but still... those hands...

And fuck the FOP: “’We’re going to argue for it. That’s for sure,’ police union spokesman Albert O’Leary told NPR.”

Worthy of dragging out this pic again. (Although one would think they’d have already gotten more rigorous after AA 191, but I digress.)

Ah, if only it would allow you to upload PDFs... Every brain-saturated graduate student in the country would kill for this.

Reminds me of that video a few years ago of these two southern guys out fishing who stumbled across a couple of kittens who swam over to their boat in the middle of this river... And of course they were “I give exactly zero fucks” ginger kitties.

This, absolutely. I also heard (can’t say for sure if it’s true) that it’s becoming harder and harder to get a closed adoption, and for a lot of people, that’s a no go. The risk of having their adopted child returned to birthparents in an open adoption because of buyer’s regret months or years afterwards is sometimes…

Side note: I’ve never been able to figure this out, but I get insanely horny for about two days after I start a new pack of pills. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m off them for a week and my hormone levels go nuts before being subsided again, or what, but I’d love to know the reason. 

I’m not one who normally subscribes to the herbal supplements thing, but maca root pills have been amazing for upping my libido. I’ve been on anti-depressants (and oral BC) for years, and although they didn’t totally kill my sex drive, it was definitely muted. I tried maca and it helped a ton, to the point of where I…

I find the beginner, ski-twice-a-year, never-take-lessons people by FAR the most dangerous and obnoxious on the slopes. They bomb straight down the runs without turning or having ANY sort of awareness of those around them. IMO it’s worse at Deer Valley because they don’t want ski patrol out on slopes “tarnishing” the…

Late to the party, but if you have one of the cystic types that’s brewing up pretty bad, put a dab of hydrocortisone cream on it and cover with one of those mini circle bandaids (overnight). It may take a day or two, but it will shrink it down nicely. Usually once it's gone, I find a plugged up pore that was the…

Late to the party, but if you have one of the cystic types that’s brewing up pretty bad, put a dab of hydrocortisone…

Unfortunately, the nutjob right wingers in their trailer parks won’t understand any of that. The fact that they continually believe he’s an “honest guy” and looking out for their best interests will keep them knee deep in denial.

Oh, I’m sure they’ll do fine - he could stand there and spew overtly racist, homophobic, sexist, etc. etc. words all night long, and his followers/the GOP will still bow down to Supreme Leader and eat up every word of it.