You are waaay inside my head with all these great points!

My daughter was born that day. The anesthesiologist was inserting my IV when it came on the news. I told him that if Bush died while I was under not to wake me up because I didn’t want to live in a world where Dan Quayle was president. When he woke me up, the first thing he told me was that Bush was still alive.

If Obama did this, we’d have 27 Congressional hearings. #BARFGHAZI

Obummer is too weak to vomit on a foreign dignitary. Donald Trump will Make America Barf Again.

I think there are a lot of ladies like us. I’ve gotten lots of private messages over the years that are very similar to yours. I think a lot of “I feel ugly” ladies don’t frequently speak up in public because:

-they get well-meaning responses of “Oh no, you’re not ugly! Everyone is beautiful! I bet you’re just being…

I’m not a comic, but I’m what most people would refer to as an assertive, strong woman with a fierce sense of humor. Part of the reason I stayed with my abuser for so long was that I bought into my own mythos as a “strong woman”, and believed that anything he did that was hurtful wasn’t abuse because I wasn’t capable…

I think it’s really difficult to parse out inner versus outer feelings of attraction. I genuinely think of myself as deeply unattractive (I don’t make jokes, cause I’m not a humorous person, but I do go on long intellectual ramblings about it), even though I am much closer to “conventionally attractive” than some…

There is nobody so charming as an abusive man.

Re: any career path.

There is nobody so charming as an abusive man. They have to cultivate those skills to entrap their partners.

Those guys are assholes I promise you. They should have been building you up and making you feel good about the many wonderful qualities you have. Instead they acted like immature jerks who can only think with their dicks.

I responded that by that rubric, I was a “body-bagger,” noting, “I’ll probably lose my virginity through a hole in a sleeping bag.” He laughed, and it was like the sun coming out on a planet where it has rained for decades

Yes, I definitely think it’s more the (perceived) fact of being a non-traditionally attractive woman who believes herself to be undesirable that results in the exoskeleton rather than the career. My job is pretty damn far from comedy/acting/performance of any kind and, lemme tell you, I’m the funniest, most…

Possibly the first time those 3 words have been combined in the history of humanity.

oh god

Tribal. Pizza. Leggings.

Warm and oily

Why is it all pepperoni? #teamveggies

pizza cuddles tho

YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE