Gonna need an update

No douche. Repping team gear (that just happpens to make you look homeless) when you know the media is trying to figure out your job status is hilarious.

They will have a tough battle in the first round when they face Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Transjordan, and Iraq simultaneously.

Some people have no choice what name they were given.

That’s all folks, shut it down. Nothing is going to top this today.

Seriously, can you see yourself pulling for someone called Coy Craft

“These people have awful names.”

Christ who actually pays for their splash mountain picture?

Struck a nerve? Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Jack.

We get it, you’re a Trump supporter mad that they are coming for your “commander in chief”. Calm down.

Are you literally more mad at Jalopnik than the president who got that veteran killed?

“Man, i am so embarrassed that a country without a history of soccer culture takes their cues from a place that has a history of soccer culture”

Not wholly different from a guy in a bar in Brooklyn that calls Manchester City “we”

Fetishising British and European culture is not a new thing for middle class America

you know it’s possible to like MLS without liking stuff like this, right bill? I abhor NYCFC’s supporter groups who act like eurotrash hooligans because they can’t make friends unless it’s a pre-organised group. that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy watching the team

Complaining about how US soccer fans cheer is peak soccer snobbery.

At one of those salvage auto sales places:

This would still sell on AutoTrader for $35k.