Hey Betsy:

Dear Universe, were I bequeathed of such a fortune as the Hiltons possess, I promise I will make better use of it. I will do a little happy dance simply for being able to pay all of my bills, each month. I will give much of it away. I will sip coffee in bed feeling peace, gratitude, and thankfulness. I will tend my…

Smart people are smart enough to know when they’re in over their head and should remain quiet.

That “dancing while eating cotton candy” sketch was great, and a lot of it rode on the expression on his face - just utter excitement and delight, all the way through. He really committed, and that’s what it needed.

Vive le France! We drove the Nazis out 72 years ago. No way in hell are they coming back.

Goldie didn’t have star all these years? She’s had an Oscar for almost 50 years! But you’ve gotta love Goldie and Kurt getting them together.

it was beautiful and sweet. when joe tries peanut butter for the first time... *sobs*

Yes, please.

Can we take a moment to remember how beautiful that man was before he started looking like someone’s Dad who is trying too hard with the Snapchat?

I tied my own shoes once. It was an overrated experience.

Wheres the snowpiercer reference when you need it?

This shit-stew of an administration, the investigations and the backlash to Trump is making me “happy” for the first time since the election. How about you guys?

I predict there is a number, not a great number, but a number, of republicans that are awake in the late hours starring off into the abyss, wondering just what the hell they have done to themselves, their families, and the nation as a whole. Let them never have one moment of peace for all they have done to aid and…

Oooh now we gotta know, what side are you on?

Because whatever the case may be now, he was fiiiiiiiiine back in the day and there’s a whole movie dedicated to it - George of the Jungle.

I never understood why people found Brendan Fraiser hot but NOW I GET IT COMPLETELY is pretty much my take. And now I can’t understand why another person who has also seen it does not find him hot.

I also thought about Encino Man, Buuuuuuuuuddy!

And what am I? Chopped liver?

Yes, including a scene where Tom Hardy and Gerard Butler slow dance with each other.