I NEVER THOUGHT PAYING IT FORWARD PIZZA WOULD MAKE ME CRY SAD TEARS BUT HERE I AM, CRYING. OVER PIZZA GENEROSITY, THE KINDEST GENEROSITY OF ALL.

It must be a bit scary, mingling with ruthless people who seem to care more about money than about the carnage in their wake.

After I was 7 months pregnant and she made a comment about how unhealthily large I was (I gained 30lbs the entire pregnancy and started at a normal, healthy weight) and how my decision for a hospital, drug-assisted birth was “disgusting”, I really shouldn’t feel bad calling her a bitch, should I?

Hey, don’t feel bad. Old ladies can be bitches. I’ve met a few. Mean girls grow up to be nasty middle age women who grow up to be miserable old ladies. They have to come from somewhere. And cheap. Christ, can people be cheap. Especially when it comes to getting rid of their own old crap.

What's up with nouveau rich people thinking that brown eyes are gauche? Paris Hilton still does the blue contacts and Kylie Jenner too, when she isn't looking old and synthetic enough for her own taste.

The trick is to be part of a continental European family.

I have no facts, only shade :)

I can’t tell if this is a true fact or a shady read but I love it and it made me cackle.

And the Bride worn Pnina Tornai, of course.

I am legit, inexplicably obsessed with the mob, their offsprings, their comings and goings. I have no ties, live on the west coast (no mafia to speak of) and yet I am drawn to every story, news clip, etc. Save me. Save me from myself.

Since they’re Asian ...

Well, I mean, we kind of are?

...Since forever? Not part of Latin America. A tiny portion of the population have Spanish ancenstry, but Filipinos are generally considered to be Asian/Pacific Islander.

It’s been a long time since I read the Sandman series from cover to cover (to cover to cover to cover), but even though I’m hazy on a lot of the details, I can still tell that this Dream is pitch-perfect as the guy who has yet to undergo any of the character development in the main series.

What, and not eat pizza? What kind of monster are you!?

Fuck it, I don’t want a mouth full of grease/oil. That’s why I blot that bad boy, not because I want to delude myself into beleiving I’m some how saving myself calories.

It embarrasses me how much I loved his reality show with his ex Shanna. They have some really cute kids.

I’d let all of Blink 182 have a go at me. Except maybe not Tom anymore, he’s kinda gone funny in the head. Plus Angels and Airwaves suuuuuuucks.

There are only three! If you’re between the age of 27 and 37 I will not give you a pass here. I realize that gives you a lot of leeway but it's all I can come up with.